I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.

Cotton balls is an example of something I would buy, but not want to have as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, on the other hand, is something I would buy and want to have as a nickname. 'Are you Cinnamon Buns?' 'You bet your sweet ass I am.'

I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.

I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the "crazy guy" at law school, which is the guy who is not so much "crazy" as "annoying."

I am what I eat. And I am this especially when I bite my nails.

I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.

For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.