To me, comedy is a game.

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

I have never been in a bad mood and near a beach ball at the same time. Causation? Correlation? Or fate?

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'

I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it... so I just added "ish" to every number.

I wonder if it's rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands.

I didn't play music, nobody in my family had an instrument or played music, we didn't even have any books at my house. I think about it and I'm like, I don't know how I climbed out of there.