99.99% of all castles in America are located in fish tanks.

When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out... and yes I'm very ticklish'.

It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.

My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'

I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.

I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.

The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).