I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend.

I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.

I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.

A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.