Cotton balls is an example of something I would buy, but not want to have as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, on the other hand, is something I would buy and want to have as a nickname. 'Are you Cinnamon Buns?' 'You bet your sweet ass I am.'

Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".

If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.

To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.

Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?

A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.