A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.

It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.

There's an old Russian saying that goes some way or another. I don't know it. I don't speak Russian. But sometimes I think about it and wonder if it's relevant to what I'm going through at the time. Probably not. I mean what do Russian know about hunger, anyway?

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.

I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'