A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.

It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.

I think bears and worms aren't very similar... until you think of gummy.

I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.

My original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.

When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.

Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.