I always try to just be honest ... As opposed to artifice or manipulation.
To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.
Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.
Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.
I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If you're going to put clothes on the dog, you should put two pairs of pants on it.