I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".

You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?

If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.

If you want to make a mythical creature, just take a regular animal and add wings to it. A horse becomes a pegasus, a lion becomes a griffin, and a hawk... becomes a double hawk.

Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.

A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'

How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.