If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.

Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.

If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

I went whale watching once. It was very similar to watching people on a boat become disappointed.

A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.