A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.
Clowns have no respect for pie.
I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery.
When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.
Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.
I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.