One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'
I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.
My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.
Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious.
You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.
Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.