I am completely attracted to the idea of simplicity, or at least removing things that seem unnecessary when trying to get an idea out there.

I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs; I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.

The reason you often get in comedy is because you're not getting laid.

The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.

People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.