I am completely attracted to the idea of simplicity, or at least removing things that seem unnecessary when trying to get an idea out there.

I think they should put pies on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something it's at least a little bit funny.

I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.

A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.

I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no "chocohol". We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably "over-workaholled".

I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.

Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.