I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.

A large portion of the Earth's land area is taken up by old varsity jackets.

I call it 'new forms'. When you're starting out, they ask you to do four or five minute sets, but once you're a headliner, you do like 90 minutes. I try to think of different things to divvy up the show, like doing drawings, playing music... I gotta carry the show, that's the problem.

I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.

There are two kinds of jackets - reversible, and reversible but it's hard to zipper up and it looks really stupid.

I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.