A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.

When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.

To get strangers to hate you even faster, crank up the volume on that very interesting ringtone of yours.

A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.

When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.

I think it would be worse to get mauled by a dancing bear than just a regular bear because you can't totally blame the dancing bear.

A squirrel is the same as a can, when there's a bb gun in my hand. Can't you see that I am just a man? With distinctions... and comparisons.