I think one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time is the jackhammer.

A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.

Knights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets.

It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.

I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.

It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.

When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE!