I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.

I think the most annoying language is a tie between all the ones I don't know how to speak.

When I stub my toe it's like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know.

If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.

A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'

I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs; I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.