I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

They should call fishing what it really is... tricking and killing!

My original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.

You always hear about the guy who was raised by wolves. You never hear about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. The problem is, you have a non-wolf imparting wolf teachings.

The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.

I go the gym and I try to run on the treadmill and I listen to music but it doesn't motivate me enough. So I'm going to get a recording of a pack of wolves gaining on me. People would be like, 'Why is that guy crying on that treadmill over there?' 'I don't know, but he's been yelling, 'help' for like 20 minutes. He's getting a good workout.

Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious.