Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.

Sometimes, when something really great happens to me, I like to wait two weeks before I tell anyone about it, because I like to use the word 'fortnight'.

I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.

I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.

I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.