Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.

I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.

A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.

Reality is a concept that depends largely upon where you point your face.

I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.