I think the most annoying language is a tie between all the ones I don't know how to speak.

My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.

To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.

THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

At the battle of the bands the loser's always the audience.

I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.