It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.

I always try to just be honest ... As opposed to artifice or manipulation.

I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, "Cool, that one works".

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.

Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.

There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.

The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.