I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.

I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.

A Rubik's cube is equal to a drag queen. It's really colorful, but I don't wanna do it.

You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'

They should call fishing what it really is... tricking and killing!

One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.