I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.

Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.

I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.

If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.

Jumping jacks are easier to do than crawling jacks.

Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.

I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.