I'm a producer on my show, which is great, but it's also kind of a mixed blessing because there's so much responsibility. Everything is a decision. You have to worry about the money, you have to worry about daylight, who we're going to cast and if this location doesn't work out, what are we going to do?

Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.