I'm not a lawmaker, but I was thinking that if you have a really loud ring tone, maybe you should be stabbed in the ear?

When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.

Everything I ever learned I was told by someone else.

I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.

After going through years of litigation to get royalties due to him, the guy who coined the term 'happily ever after' lived reasonably well for a while.

I love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.

I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.