It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.
Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.
When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.
They should call fishing what it really is... tricking and killing!
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
I think they should put pies on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something it's at least a little bit funny.