I got into stand up just to do stand up because I love stand up.

As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.

The sofa is the enemy of productivity.

I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.

I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'

I think as a performer, it can be really great to stand on stage, especially when you have more time, but I do think about the specific people in the audience, how it's hard for them to get up and go to the bathroom, how they chose not to do other things that night and have turned off their phones and everything. So for that reason, I think it's necessary to mix it up and talk to the audience.

If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.