I am a man. And I am former baby and a future skeleton, and I am a distant future pile of dust.

I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.

Suicide is the #1 killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.

Sometimes, when something really great happens to me, I like to wait two weeks before I tell anyone about it, because I like to use the word 'fortnight'.

Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

I think bears and worms aren't very similar... until you think of gummy.