I am a man. And I am former baby and a future skeleton, and I am a distant future pile of dust.

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.

I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.

I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it.

I think they should put pies on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something it's at least a little bit funny.

I'm a producer on my show, which is great, but it's also kind of a mixed blessing because there's so much responsibility. Everything is a decision. You have to worry about the money, you have to worry about daylight, who we're going to cast and if this location doesn't work out, what are we going to do?