I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.

It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually exclusive.

One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'

For some reason cowboy sounds better than cowman.

There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.

THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.

When I stub my toe it's like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know.