My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Because glitter doesn't go away. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
To me, comedy is a game.
A mobile home with a flat tire is a home.
Why are there not positive mysteries? It's always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about... who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room.