I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the "crazy guy" at law school, which is the guy who is not so much "crazy" as "annoying."

I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.

How to be a bouncer: be an asshole; stand near a door.

I love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.

I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'

A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.