I call it 'new forms'. When you're starting out, they ask you to do four or five minute sets, but once you're a headliner, you do like 90 minutes. I try to think of different things to divvy up the show, like doing drawings, playing music... I gotta carry the show, that's the problem.

'Dammit I'm mad' is 'Dammit I'm mad' spelled backwards.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.

The definition of adventure depends upon how boring your life is.

Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.

It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.