I wonder how they deal with mice at Disney World.

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.

I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.

I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead.

It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.

It turns out dentists don't like it very much when you show up for a cleaning in full vampire gear.

Sometimes I like to go outside without even checking the weather first.