I wonder how they deal with mice at Disney World.

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.

Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.