It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.

I was thinking how strange it is that water is one of the best, simplest things on this planet, and still with a simple glass of water you can neutralize so many of the greatest technological advances that we provide. Like with my blackberry, I can get in touch with so many people, but if I dip it in a small glass of water I'm completely disconnected.

The other night I was playing twister with some amputees.

A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either

THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.

Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.

A glove is a very literal looking hand puppet.