Sometimes I like to go outside without even checking the weather first.

When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.

I love bowling almost as much as I love not bowling.

I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.

I don't have to kill myself, time is going to do that.

My mind says one thing, but my body says another. Thanks a lot, Indian food and beer.

When they were naming vitamins they must have thought there were going to be way more vitamins than there ended up being. OK let's name these: Vitamin A, Vitamin B... ok man slow down we've got a lot to cover here. B2, B3, B4, B5, B6, B12. Then they got to E and they were like 'We're pretty much done. We've got all those damn B's. This is embarrassing. Let's just skip to K and get the hell out of here.