Sometimes I like to go outside without even checking the weather first.

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.

It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.

I have a jar at home, and I put pennies in it whenever I curse. The other day I spilled the jar. I owe it about $25.

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.

They should call fishing what it really is... tricking and killing!