If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.
I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.
Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.
Small businesses are important, but so are tiny businesses.
My friend asked me I ever swam with dolphins. I was like, 'Yeah, of course. What distance are we talking about from the dolphins? Because the last time I was in the ocean, I'm pretty sure I swam with most of them.'
Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That guy won a gold medal in the Olympics" "Oh yeah, that's cool, i wanna watch the fat guy" "Come on dude, you can take that hill"