History, like wallpaper, repeats itself and can also make a room look old-fashioned.

I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.

A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.

After going through years of litigation to get royalties due to him, the guy who coined the term 'happily ever after' lived reasonably well for a while.

I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.