Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.

I am bravery. I am courage. I am valor. I am daring. I am holding a thesaurus.

Do you have any Greek in you? That was just a tactful way of asking if you're pregnant. If you're not, then let's break up.

I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

I have a jar at home, and I put pennies in it whenever I curse. The other day I spilled the jar. I owe it about $25.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.