A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.

One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.

100% of the people who give 110% do not understand math.

I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.

I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'

I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. "What do you do?" "I'm a match maker" "Aw, that's really romantic" "No, umm... I actually... never mind"

I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.