I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.

If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.

Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.

As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.

How to be a bouncer: be an asshole; stand near a door.

The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.

Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.