It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.

Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious.

If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.

Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.

You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?

Sometimes I see a bird fly by and I feel jealous. But then other times I see a bird fly into a closed window and I feel laughing.

Suicide is the #1 killer of a person who is in a boat and happens to be passing under a bridge at the wrong time.