I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed

It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.

You never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.

When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?

I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'