It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.

I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.

Americans who do not celebrate Independence Day: pets.

If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.

If I could control the behavior of fat guys I would make them ride mopeds more often.

A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.'

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.