Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
The reason you often get in comedy is because you're not getting laid.
Parades are man's attempt to make traffic exciting.
I'm not a lawmaker, but I was thinking that if you have a really loud ring tone, maybe you should be stabbed in the ear?
I think the most annoying language is a tie between all the ones I don't know how to speak.