I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.

Right before I'm about to talk at length about something I like I say, Get me started.

Reality is a concept that depends largely upon where you point your face.

Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?

You need an audience to help you figure out what's working and what's worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what's worth touring with.

I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.

It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.