I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.

Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.

Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.

I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.

The reason you often get in comedy is because you're not getting laid.

I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.

For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.