I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.

It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.

A glove is a very literal looking hand puppet.

Right before I'm about to talk at length about something I like I say, Get me started.

When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun.

Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.

Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.