The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).

I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

The question is, 'how bad at sports were you as a kid?' I grew up near where they film Jersey Shore. If you weren't tan, muscular, and book-averse, you were a dork and a nerd and a geek and stuff. I remember being into Gary Larsen, Stephen Wright, Peter Sellers.

I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.

My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'