The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).

When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.

I think cats would have an even worse attitude if they found out how stupid their names were.

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If you're going to put clothes on the dog, you should put two pairs of pants on it.

I want to launch a globe into space just to mess with the astronauts.

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.