I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

When you're wearing an animal costume and something bad happens, your facial expression doesn't change. The animal is deadpan the whole time. If you're skiing in a gorilla suit and you fall, you just see a gorilla who has no emotion. It's just a stoic gorilla, wildly falling down a hill, out of control.

Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.

I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.

When I'm buying car insurance I ask myself, 'Which company has the most annoying and relentless commercials?'

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, "Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good." Hopefully it balances out.