I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.

I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.

When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out... and yes I'm very ticklish'.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.

I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.