I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks. By the fourth week, I found it tedious. I got bored and grew restless. I had no other plan for a job, because from seventh grade on, I had planned on law. So I shifted my focus from classes to extracurricular activities.

Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.

We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.

I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.