Parades are man's attempt to make traffic exciting.

And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.

I have never been in a bad mood and near a beach ball at the same time. Causation? Correlation? Or fate?

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".

I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.

When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.

Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.