If I had to pick one artist to tile my bathroom I would go with MC Escher.

I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, "Cool, that one works".

I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'

To remove all credibility from what you're saying try wearing sunglasses on your forehead.

When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.

My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.

Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.