Laborers want their kids to be merchants or business people. Business people want their kids to be professionals. Professionals want their kids to be academics, professors. Academics want their kids to be artists. And artists don't care if their kids are laborers or not. They can be anything.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

When I stub my toe it's like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know.

It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.

If you have a lair then you are probably not a good person.

The Pursuit of Happiness: It sure seems to like a good chase, doesn't it?

As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.