Laborers want their kids to be merchants or business people. Business people want their kids to be professionals. Professionals want their kids to be academics, professors. Academics want their kids to be artists. And artists don't care if their kids are laborers or not. They can be anything.

The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.

Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.

I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.

I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.

I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.

Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.