When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
To make a squirrel look less uptight, put tiny sunglasses on it.
If you have a lip ring try hanging some tiny keys from it. This will make you look even more interesting.
I like parties, but I don't like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there's a donkey with some pizzazz. Let's kick its ass.
Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.
I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'