I think the best thing about being dumb is that it makes magic a lot better. Where the hell did that rat come from? I dunno, but I'm calling the cops because he just cut that lady in half.

I was thinking how strange it is that water is one of the best, simplest things on this planet, and still with a simple glass of water you can neutralize so many of the greatest technological advances that we provide. Like with my blackberry, I can get in touch with so many people, but if I dip it in a small glass of water I'm completely disconnected.

A car alarm is a way for a car to tell everyone that its owner is an asshole.

For me, possibility, progress, growth, those things are very.. they feel very good. It doesn't usually come with negativity. I don't really mind sucking at something as long as I'm getting a little bit better at it along the way.

It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.

I don't want to be my own boss. I want to be my own colleague.

A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.