I was thinking how strange it is that water is one of the best, simplest things on this planet, and still with a simple glass of water you can neutralize so many of the greatest technological advances that we provide. Like with my blackberry, I can get in touch with so many people, but if I dip it in a small glass of water I'm completely disconnected.

A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.

Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals arson.

I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.

A Rubik's cube is equal to a drag queen. It's really colorful, but I don't wanna do it.

To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.

Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.